R2 Nov 5 2016 vs Cavaliers: New Kids on the Block


Takapuna vs. ACC Cavaliers, McFetridge Park, 5th November 2016.

All the rumours we were facing a team stacked with the likes of Scott Styris, Kerry Walmsley, Kyle Mills … happily were put to rest when the Cavaliers rocked up and we were faced with some fairly normal looking chaps, a number of Sri Lankan origin and very pleasant blokes rather than superheroes. Once we got over the twin shocks of Spencer arriving virtually on time and some pre-game fielding practice, normal service resumed. Head Tosser lost the toss, we were inserted so to speak, and RTB made his customary ton. Basher Bound perished on his sword, as is his wont, and the reworked batting order saw Mr Day come in number 3 and combined with Cheese to compile a fantastic 139 run 2nd wicket partnership. Spencer fell to a very dodgy LBW (by the day’s standards) back on his stumps in front of middle, but took it well thankfully for a great 53. Andrew came and went and the doughty Planty came in to assist RTB on his way to another milestone. Once he’d been forced to retire, HT Robbie Jane made a delightful cameo of 1, surpassed by DLM’s breezy 2 and Mark Steyn’s brisk 14. All the while Planty stood firm and combined with the manager to put on a rambunctious 2 runs in the last over, finishing undefeated on 29 and allowing us to compile a formidable 239. Give that man a Gold Card!

With grey skies looming, Thunderbolt O’Sullivan opened downwind and promptly got nicked for 4 amidst a series of played and missed. The Manager, as usual, got asked to do the donkey work into the gale and promptly succeeded in his and Spencer’s well-worked plan to bowl tripe as long as Spencer caught them to have the Cavs reeling at 4-13 after 4 overs. Manager/Spencer then had figures of 2 for 3 and was begging to be taken off but a stone-faced Head Tosser sadly would have none of it – even when Glenfield’s version of Hurricane Katrina dropped a ton of rain on us and forced us from the field briefly. Neil spelled Thunderbolt downwind and highlighted HT’s exceptional if hard-arsed captaincy, promptly taking a first-ball wicket, unfortunately followed by two sixes in the same over!

Once Manager had been flogged to death into gale and rain, Greg came on into the same conditions – unfortunately, RTB had slipped one of his grumpy pills into Greg’s 3rd Steiny so there was a fair amount of mumbling (to put it politely)  regarding the wind and the bar of soap he was bowling with until he replaced Neil downwind, cheered up a bit and Steynkie came on upwind.

Greg quickly cheered down again as Mark took his first wicket and said he didn’t know what all the fuss was about – just because the ball was now a piece of soap and some pretty uninspired umpiring decisions didn’t go our way doesn’t stop me taking wickets. 3 in all in his great spell including a chance of a hat-trick, slightly spoiled by possibly the worst h-t ball ever bowled. Greg did then capture one downwind to put a hint of a smile on his dial, and we had the Cavaliers pretty well on the rack though there were a number of concerned looks at the advancing grey clouds and potential to ruin the party. Another shower saw HT bring Thunderbolt back on, he decided “full and straight” was the order of the day and calmly cleaned up the tail, sitting on his hat-trick ball next time he ventures out, and meaning we won the game by 80 odd runs.

It would be remiss of me not to mention the apparent sub-par umpiring (shall I say non-President’s grade quality) which all the teams really do need to try and work on, but the way a number of us responded  out of frustration certainly doesn’t bring any credit to either our team or our club. It’s a work-on for both teams involved but at least the spirit of cricket prevailed in the end which is how we all want it to be.

From there we happily disposed of the Heinies and went back to the club for another iniquitous fines session and some bevvies to celebrate another good win for the mighty Tossers – bring on Parnell.




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